What kind of story will you write? How many of the following can you use?
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What kind of story will you write? How many of the following can you use?

Question by Hoosier Mom: What kind of story will you write? How many of the following can you use?
Any genre goes (within guidelines, of course).

Please post your story – not just that you can write it. We trust ya, but it’s more fun to read it. (:

Please use at least 7 of the following:
1. “I didn’t think you could build THAT with Legos!”
2. “Open the Eyes of My Heart”
3. I like cheese.
4. That’s not a bird – that’s _______
5. Dr. Seuss was a _______, a/an _______. Too bad he’s _____.
6. Prevaricate
7. Science is _______ than religion.
8. This’s one for the record books!
9. Bloomers
10. Chinchilla
11. Was he being childish, or was she?
12. The _______ was in the mail.

Best answer:

Answer by Char
Satirical.
The chinchilla was in the mail.(10 ,12) The person who sent it, dressed the poor thing in bloomers.(9) I thought,”Was he being childish, or was she?” (11) I couldn’t begin to think of who would do that.
Let me take you back to 19 years ago, when this all started.
I work in the Post Office. I inspect packages. It’s an art and a science. Remember that science is more random than religion.(7) Someone tried to send a bicycle made of plastic bricks. I don’t like to prevaricate.(6) Let’s just say that we, at the Post Office, only mishandle a quarter of what we get. Gathering around the broken box, someone said, “I didn’t think you could build THAT with Legos!”(1) It even had spokes in the wheels! The next year, at around the same time, we found the feathered creature, stuffed with Gouda. There was some argument among our staff as to what it was supposed to be. Some thought that it looked like a pheasant. Charlotte, from the front desk told all of us, “That’s not a bird – that’s a cat with glued on feathers.” (4) I like cheese, still.(3) But, I shouldn’t, after seeing that. You know, it looked Seussian. (Dr. Seuss was a children’s story teller, an artist. Too bad he’s gone.)(5) He would’ve have appreciated that thing.
Every year, we found a strange package. We know that they come from the same place and the same person because all the packages have a professionally stamped label that reads, “Open the eyes of my Heart.”(2)
And this is one for the record books!(8)
All the packages were addressed to Santa Claus.
C. :) !!

Add your own answer in the comments!

2 Responses to “What kind of story will you write? How many of the following can you use?”

  • Meridith:

    When he took her to his home she looked at it and said, “I didn’t think you could bild THAT with Legos!”
    He smiled brightly at her and said, “you have opened the eyes of my heart. I love you and want you to live in my Lego house”.
    She smiled back and replied, “I like cheese. Can we go inside?”
    “Baby, my refrigerator is full of cheese! Come inside and I will show you around!”
    Once inside the house, she began to notice the abundance of exotic pets. “What an interesting bird that is!” she exclaimed.
    “That’s not a bird – that’s my son.”
    “Dr. Seuss was a creative man, a real story teller. Too bad he’s not here to see you son! He could be Thing 3!”
    “Oh, my darling” he said, “I didn’t mean to prevaricate. He’s not really my son, I just meant that I made him. Out of Legos.”
    “Science is more predictable than religion, so I thought I might be able to make him, and bring him to life!”
    “Well!” she retorted, “This is one for the record books! I have never gotten quite this far with someone without realizing how wrong he was for me!!”
    As she hastened to collect her blouse from the floor, her bloomers started to rustle under her skirt. A chinchilla popped his furry little head out from under her hem and looked playfully between the two of them.
    Seeing the adorable little rodent having so much fun made the whole argument seem silly. But then again, she was normally a sensible person. Was he being childish, or was she?
    Regardless, the refund from the male escort service was in the mail. If she stayed she would have to pay. The man in front of her was charming, but she could not resist the allure of keeping her money.

  • Sunshine♥ MattBaby:

    Dodge City, Kansas
    Circa 1873

    ” Well I’ll Be Damned”

    Doc Adams deep in discussion with Preacher Proffit…..
    Doc:” Sir, I must disagree with you. It is my strong conviction that (7) Science is more proveable than religion.”
    Preacher Proffit grabbed his chest, and spoke in a voice known ONLY too well to the few who put up with him, Sunday after Sunday.
    Preacher Proffit:” Dare not (6) Prevaricate, sir!! God will SURELY strike you dead. At the VERY least, He will send you
    a message by way of one of His CHOSEN few!!! (2) Open the Eyes of My Heart, dear Lord.Send us a sign!”
    Doc rubbed his face, as he always does when confronted with religious fervor.
    At that very moment, Sunshine MacGillicutty came storming into town, screaming at the top of her lungs……”THE END IS NEAR!! THE END IS NEAR !!”
    Preacher Proffit was nearly run over as she galloped down Front Street…….. “You see…..He sent a ….a….. What was that?! A wild bird? Hmmmm…..A wild bird wearing yellow (9) Bloomers. God really does have a sense of humor, I guess.”
    He shook his head to try and gather his wits! ” Anyway, THAT was his message!! ”
    He dropped to his knees , clasped his hands and said in his most evangelical voice…….”Oh, God! Oh, God! THANK you for that message! I, your devoted servant, heard you !!”
    Doc:”(4) That’s not a bird – that’s just Sunshine MacGillicutty announcing the end to this drought!!! Matt just got word from the local meterologist, that rather strange Sioux Chief, ‘Dances The Tango With Wolves AND Bunnie Rabbits’, that rain is on the way…..That’s all, Preacher.”
    Doc smiled as he helped the dejected man to his feet.
    Doc:”The idea that a silly dance could produce rain is ludicrous, but at this point, Matt is willing to try anything!!”

    After Sunshine had let everyone within a 5 mile radius of Dodge know about the coming rain, she trotted back into
    town.
    Sunshine:” ‘Lo, Doc. Have you seen Matt? We had a little tiff out at the Indian village….Wonder if he’d returned, yet?”
    Doc:”Tiff! What kind of a tiff?”
    Sunshine kicked one boot and then the other in the dry dusty street.
    Sunshine:” Well….. Chief ‘Dances The Tango With Wolves AND Bunnie Rabbits’ was talking to us when his son, ‘Raging Hormones’ wandered over. He asked me if I’d like to see his teepee…..Said he had used some kind of stuff I’d never heard of to help bind the skins………Said he extracted it from buffalo bile. Anyway, I said, ‘sure.’
    Doc:”Uh huh. And I suppose Matt didn’t WANT you to see the young man’s teepee….That about the size of it?” He rubbed his face again trying to cover his grin.
    Sunshine:” Yeah….How’d you know?”
    Doc:”Just a lucky guess….But go on…..Then what happened?” Doc was smiling from ear to ear and had begun to giggle.
    Sunshine:” Anyhow, I went into the teepee and looked around. Doc!! It was a sight to behold!! It was really decked out….And the aroma from the bile was simply DEVINE!!
    Kinda reminded me of fresh cherry pie. I’ll tell ya….It was delightful….Anyway, Raging Hormones showed me his brand new bow, made from lego wood . Just as I said, (1) ‘ I didn’t think you could build THAT with Legos,’
    Matt crawled into the tent’s opening and approached us. ” She started laughing. “You should have seen him, Doc. The opening was so small and he’s so big….hahahhahahah.
    Well…..He straightened up and banged his head on a stuffed owl. Then a trained (10) Chinchilla jumped on his shoulder and ……relieved himself!! Doc…..I LOST IT!!!!! I could NOT stop laughing !!”

    As she grabbed onto Doc’s arm to steady herself, Matt walked up to them.
    Matt: “I suppose you’re telling Doc about the damn chinchilla and that love lorn Indian brave ?!!” Matt tried to stretch his large frame and relieve the throbbing in his left hip. “That reminds me….Doc…Do you have anything for EXTREME PAIN?” He glared at Sunshine. ” I will NEVER try to enter a Sioux teepee again!!”
    Doc :” Well let me just say that of all the things you two have cooked up, (8) This’s one for the record books! I think I would have given my right kidney to have seen that little varmit on your shoulder, Matt!!” He and Sunshine did an 1873 version of a “High Five.”
    Matt stormed off.
    Sunshine, trying to stiffle her laughter…..”Where’re you going , baby?”
    Matt:”To Delmonicos. I’m starving for one of their special cheese omelettes.”
    Sunshine:”Hey!! (3) I like cheese. May I join you?”
    Matt looked her right in the eye…… “No thanks! With the kind of luck I’ve been having It may get lodged in my throat or something. And you’d probably find it hilarious!!! ”
    Sunshine stuck her tongue out as she she put her thumbs in her ears and wiggled her hands!
    Matt grunted, muttered something about her being a jerk, and turned to leave.
    Doc just stood there, shaking his head and muttering to himself, “(11) Was he being childish, or was she?!!”

    The scene ends with a clap of thunder and a downpour.
    Doc looks up at the sky and rubs his face……………………
    “Well I’ll be damned.”

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